Anne Kelly | November 21, 2025 

I was with our 30 year-old daughter for a couple of weeks in November (the longest we’ve spent
together in about 10 years). She’d invited me to help her get through a crisis, and I’m learning
how important it is to LISTEN better; not to interrupt; not to assume that I know what she’s
thinking or feeling; not to finish her sentences for her, as if I could possibly know what she
intends to say.

While in Ann Arbor, I also was able to spend more time with my 97-year-old Mom, now in
Memory Care. Having a meal with Mom now is like being in a Saturday Night Live skit:
watching/listening to other residents jumble their sentences; complain about waiting to be
served; wander off with Mom’s walker; or launch into Italian arias, in the case of the former
opera singer.

Patience, love and acceptance are some of the lessons I’m relearning; and it’s not easy. I’m part
of what’s called The Sandwich Generation (those caring for or about their kids AND their aging
parents). For awhile last year, I thought I’d coined a new label, till I saw it on the news: The
CLUB Sandwich Generation (adding concern for your friends’ parents to the mix). I’ve come to
the conclusion that had anyone ever told us how long we’d be parenting (and how difficult a job
it can be) the human race would’ve died out eons ago.

What does this have to do with our church? I think it’s the listening/not interrupting part;
letting others chime in, even if they don’t share our personal perspectives, plans or ways of
doing things. It’s also the caring and acceptance parts, both of which I think Grace Church does
well, but could always improve upon.

I’ll leave you with something I was reminded of recently:
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead.

Our family stopped using paper gift wrap decades ago; instead, re-using cloth bags handmade by
Mom. Our gifts to each other will be our being together, sharing stories and meals, playing
games, maybe watching a movie or old family vacation slides (remember those?).
May we all have a meaningful Advent & Christmastide, and a new year filled with hope.